Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
