y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
