he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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