it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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