This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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