he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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