Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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