Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
