Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
