So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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