im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
