I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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