come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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