Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
