the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
