Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
