were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
