Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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