my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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