I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
