I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
