Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
