Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize