i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
