Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
