The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
In America we eat man semen.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Randomize