"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize