there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
