I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
