lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
