but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
