Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
