I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
