This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
