can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
where are you?
Hypothermia
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
