is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
