we have officially lost it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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