shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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