I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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