Where did you get a picture of my penis
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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