we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
