hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
