Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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