i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
