South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize