Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
