So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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