Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize