So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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