So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
