So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
