im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
