i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
