we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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