it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
