yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
