After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
