don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
