you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I skipped work to stalk him.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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